Where had you go? I miss you so…

After 6 days of constant battle with sickness, today our calf lost his life. He died a painful death at our house. Like always, My mother was the only one to wake me up with bad news. I went to him. He was lying with his moist eyes open and toungue out. My mother told me how he floundered out of pain. I touched him but he did not turn his head to me like he used to do. His mother was still eating. May be she was unaware of this harsh truth. My father, brother and I, put his body on the bike and went to bury it.

A few hundred meters away from the house, we dig his grave. I said “goodbye” to him in my thoughts and threw the soil on his stomach. We buried his memories and came back to home. His mother looked at us like she want to say something. For a moment, I forgot that they can’t speak like us or may be we are too unlucky too understand them.

Its been hours, but she is still looking for him. She is feeling lonely. Everytime somebody opens the gate, she wishes that his son will enter. She tries to search him through the nearest window. She is tied to a wooden pole but still roam around to get a glance of his son. I don’t know what she is thinking. I just know that she is in pain. You can feel it by looking at her eyes.

Sometimes I wonder, Why can’t we just live forever? Why can’t we keep our loved ones with us forever..? I know, someday it will happen to me too but I don’t believe it that it will really happen. I don’t know if he is at a better place or not. If there is any afterlife or a complete darkness. I just wish, wherever he are..He don’t forget the moments we shared. I hope, he know that somebody misses him. I just hope….

-Sujit

Journey of Life : Sujit Yadav

This is not a poem, These are not just lines. It may be few words for somebody. But for me Its my feelings…something that I am so attached to…To my village , To my friends, To my Life…its for you all…

Aaj bhi waha kuch nahi badla. Wo raaste waise hi hai, wo galiyan utni hi tanha hai. Log aaj bhi apne kaam me usi tarah masgool hai jaisa mai chhod kar gaya tha.

Chidiyo ka chahchahana wahi hai, bulbul ka gaana wahi hai. Baarish ki bundo ko bhi pehchanta hun, Bas khud ko nahi..

Mitti ki wo mehak yuhi barkaraar hai, wo Kadmo ke nishaan wahi hai. Unse judi yaade Jehan me hai, bas hai nahi, toh mera wajood, Jo ab sabse juda hai..

Mere jaan ke baad bhi Chaand utna hi tez chamakta hai, hawaaye aaj bhi dil me tapish liye firti hai. Jugnu aaj bhi roshni sath kar bhi, raasta bhatak jaate hai…

Chulhe ki raakh, aaj bhi shamaa ke intezaar me hai. Kone me padi charpayi aaj bhi kisi ko aagosh me lene ko tayyar nazar aati hai.

Wo chhoti chhoti galiya, jinpar kabhi taktaki lagaye baithe rehte the, unpar ab Musafir aate toh hai. Par uske aane ki aas nahi..

Kheto ki pagdandi par ab apni railgaadi nahi dauda karti. Wo purani tubewell hamara badan bhigoya nahi karti. Kinaro pe lage ped aaj bhi Jawaa hai. Maano unhe kisi ki nazar lagaa nahi karti…

Chaupaal aaj bhi Bujurgo se bhari rehti hai. Aaj bhi yaha koi baazi jeet raha hota hai. To koi baazi khone ke darr se chilla raha hota hai.

Wo ghutne pe chalne waale bacche daudne lage hai. Cycle walo ko bhi picche chhodne lage hai. Kal tak Kaliyaan thi jo, ab phool ban chuki hai. Muhalle me naye naye ladko ke chakkar lagne lage hai….

Waqt kitni tezi se badal raha hai. Kal tak in raasto par chalta tha main, Aaj mera jism kisi aur raah par chal raha hai…

Sochta tha mere jaane ke baad kya hoga. Par ab mehsoos hota hai ki maano kisi ko meri parwaah hi nahi. Par mera dil samjhta hai. Samjhata hai ki Zindagi kabhi kisi ke liye nahi rukti. Log aate jaate rahenge. Zindagi ke rango me doob ke nahate rahenge. Mera kirdaar khatm hua, ab mujhe aage badhna hai…Bas ye yaado ke silsile satate rahenge….

Kisi din koi aayega, Jo iss Diary pe dhyan dega. Ultega panne aur iss kahani ko payega….Par uske liye ye mehaz kaali syahi se likhe kuch sabd honge. Dekhega, Faadega aur aag me jalaa dega.

Aur iss tarah wo shaksh mujhe raakh me mila dega….

A poem about keeping faith in God

Zindagi humesha yuhi karvate badalati rahegi,
Kabhi roti toh kabhi hasti rahegi,
Aaj tanha ho toh niraash naa hona,
Kabhi rahoge akele toh kabhi sath basti rahegi…

Waqt humesha ek sa nahi hoga,
Aaj dukh ki raate hai toh khuskhiyo ka kal bhi hoga,
Dil me chhipe bharose ko kabhi tootne na dena,
Aaj musibato ka sailaab hai toh kal hal bhi hoga….

Kismat aise maud pe le jayegi bhi,
Jo karna nahi chahte the, wo karwayegi bhi,
Umeedo ki patang ko darr kar kabhi chhodna nahi,
Aaj ye Zamee par hai toh kal bulandiya payegi bhi….

Zindagi ki har raah pe ek imitihaan aayega,
Apno se tu khud ko milo door payega,
Jab himmat jawaab dene lage toh khuda ko yaad karna,
Agar wo yaha tak laya hai, toh aage bhi le jayega…..

-Sujit Kumar Yadav

I feel like I am lost

Sometimes I think, I will never make it or I am not on the right track. It feels like I will die with regrets, like a common man whose name only few knows. A man who was known as a funny and ambitious guy but died like a loser. A lable will be put on my head “Trash-Talker”. A man who dint become what he wanted to be, because He had some good excuses like,
“My grammer is not good”
“I have responsibility”
“I dont want to hurt my family”
“I will do it later…”

I know these are excuses, Damn Fucking excuses..but sometimes I feel so helpless and weak. I know, ‘Life will not be the same’ but my confidence goes down everytime my parents scolds me. I know this is another excuse. May be I am thinking too much, May be its right for me or May be I am on my way…But I dont want to hide from these emotions(Doubt and fear). May be nobody cares. But I know every successful person was at the place where today i am. May be its an Omen:)

Friends Forever

This is what I wanted in my life. Just party with my friends. Meeting new people. Drink all night and hangover with them. After that a long drive on the bikes. Laughing with them, crying with them…and Dancing with them. And at the last Dying with them…

What is the point in becoming Good? when Bad guys get everthing.

I dont understand, But Life seems to be in the favour of “Bad”. Here Bad refers to the people who are arrogant, selfish, careless,and cheater.

When we were kids, we are taught to be a good guy. To ask for permission before taking something or doing all the nice things. But when we saw real life we realized that by being good, nothing is happening.

A good guy spent his life by pleasing others, by being nice to everyone, but what he gets? Nothing. Even people support bad guys. These bad guys got good girls. They get everything in life. From power to woman. Where as good guy are neglected. Most of the good guys gets the girl who spoils his life. Even the girls dont want bad boys.

A good guy never cheat on his parents. He tells them that he want money to go on vacation. But his parents scolds him. They dont give him money.
Where as A bad guy go to the parents and say he want money for a college project. His parents handed him money in a second. They even gets happy that their son is studying so much.

A good guy tells his girl about every girl he talk to. Because she dont want to hide anything from her girl. But still his girl stops him to talk to anyone. She fights with him.
Where as a bad guy sleeps with another woman and go to home and tell her wife that how busy he was in the office and how much he was missing her. His wife is happy because he is so loving and caring.

A good guy do everything to help everyone. But in the end what he gets, “Betrayal”. Where as a bad guy cheat on everyone but still people worship him.

If a bad guy gets everything then why the hell we are taught to be good? What is the point in becoming good if no one cares about you.

And still everyone says, “There are no good people out there”. As if they really care.

Kahaani Ek Patange ki Jise Ishq tha shamaa se -Sujit Yadav

Parwane aur shamaa

Duniya ki bheed se door,
Jungle ke ek kone me,
ek patanga rehta tha…

Thoda sa paagal, thoda da maasoom,
bas apni dhun me rehta tha,
naa thi fikar kisi ki,
naa koi usko apna kehta tha…

ghumna din bhar jungle me,
aur masti karna bas dil me rehta tha…

ek din apne raaste se bhatak kar,
reh gaya ek khidki pe atak kar,
aankhe fati ki fati reh gayi,
palke maathe se sati ki sati reh gayi..

saamne uske ek diye pe shama jal rahi thi,
har saans ke saath patange ki jaan nikal rahi thi….

har lamhe ke saath wo deewana ho raha tha,
shamaa ka husn usey bin paani dubo raha tha…

Patange ka dil shama par aa gaya,
banjar zamee par mano baadal chha gaya..

usey paane ki hasrat dil me basti chali gayi,
har jhalak ke sath ishq ka jaal kasti chali gayi…

Patanga har shyaam shamaa ko dekhne aane lagaa,
Parde ke piche se uski jhalak paane lagaa…

har pal bas wo shamaa ko pane ki sochta,
usey jee bhar ke dil se lagaane ki sochta…

Patange ke dosto ne samjhaya usey,
chaha usey jisne bhi, jalaya usey..
Door reh us se, maara jayega,
Dil ke khel me, haara jayega….

Par patange ke dil me uske pyaar ka joonun tha,
usey paa zindagi bhar chahne me hi sookun tha…

Dil me thaan wo nikal padaa, paane usey,
kitna karta hai pyaar, batane usey…

pahuch kar khidki ke pass, patange ne dekha usey….

Shamaa ka husn kamre ko chamkaye baitha tha,
Naa jaane kitni aag badan me chhipaye baitha tha…

kadam badhane se pehle ruka wo pal bhar ke liye,
Theek hai kya uska faisla, parakhane ke liye..

ek taraf Jungle tha, ek taraf pyaar tha,
ek taraf shamaa, toh ek taraf parvana marne ko taiyyar tha…

sab kuch bhula wo shama ki aur badhne lagaa,
chhune ko ek baar usey, dil machalne lagaa..

naa jane kitni raate usne uski yaad me bitayi thi,
aur naa jaane kitne khwaab usne uske liye sajaaye the…

paas aate hi Shamaa ne Patange ko aagosh me bhar liya,
ek hi pal me haste huwe Patange ko khaamosh kar diya…

Shamaa ne apne masoom diwaane ko raakh kar diya,
Saare khwaab, saare Ishq ko khaak kar diya…

Pata tha Patange ko,
Shamaa se Ishq usey marwayega,
Par kya karta, ye bhi pataa tha ki,
Shamaa ke bin wo Jee bhi nahi paayega..

Aaj Zamee par Patange ki raakh tak ke nishaa nahi,
Aur Shamaa waisi hi hai, Jaise maano usey koi fark padta hi nahi…

Saayad yahi Zindagi ka dastoor hai,
yaha har koi, Iss Ishq ke aage majboor hai…

–Sujit Yadav

Kuch bhi nahi – Sujit Yadav

sujit yadav

Ek adhoora khwaab,
Ek ankahi baat.
Ek tasveer uski dil me,
Aur mere pass, uska kuch bhi nahi….

Aankho me intezaar uska,
Baato me bas uski baatein,
khayaalo me wo mulaakaate,
Aur mere pass uska, kuch bhi nahi,

Wo mehak uske haatho ki,
Wo saraarate un pyaari raato ki,
Wo manana usey, rooth jaane par,
Waqt ka thehar jana uske nazar aane par…

Dekh mujhe ab wo bas nazare chura leti hai,
Maano yaad usey ek lamha bhi nahi,
Hongi uske pass kisi aur ki baahein ab,
Aur mere pass in yaado ke siva, kuch bhi nahi…..

-Sujit Yadav

What should I do after completing b.tech?

Since I have completed my B.tech in electronics and communication, a big question arises in front of me, “what should I do with my life now?”

I took advices from many people and What I felt, all are lost in his world by the shine of a big car and Money, everybody wants a job that make them Rich, from SSC exams to Jobs in private sector, These advices vary. But when I really think about this, I just get nervous about my future, A big flat or a big car, Is that what we live for?

I want to go in Animation Industry, But my family wants me to find a decent job and settle down. They thinks that there is no future in Animation and they dont have 2 lakhs for the course fee. Deep down I think I can do this course after getting a job and do some savings for the fees, but I know it will be almost impossible to quiet the job  just to learn animation, If I go on the way told by my family and friends, then I can earn more money. But If I listen to my heart, I know I have to work hard to survive, but one thing i know atleast I will be happy doing the work I love to do. For just a little big house or a car, Should I choose the career i dont like?

Kisi Ko – A poem by Sujit Yadav

Kisi ko “Ye khaana acha nahi” keh, khana chhod jate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko do sookhi roti ke liye ghanto paseena bahate dekha hai,
Kisi ko makhmali bistar par bhi karvate badalte dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko Zameen par bhi chain se so jaate dekha hai…

Kisi ko apni Maa ko dhakke maar ghar se bhaghate dekha hai,
Toh kahi kisi ko Maa ka pyaar pane ke liye aansu bahaate dekha hai,
Kisi ko apne Pita ke saath chalkar sarmaate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko apne apaahij baap ko kandhe pe uthate dekha hai….

Kisi ko apne hi sago ko dukh pahuchaate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko kisi paraaye ke liye pathar ke aage haath failate dekha hai,
Kisi ko Saalo ka Pyaar chhod, door jaate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko door rehkar bhi Pyaar nibhaate dekha hai..

Kisi ko sainkdo khilono ke baad bhi muh latkaate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko Titli ke piche bhaag muskuraate dekha hai,
Kisi ko thokar kha girkar Jamee par so jaate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko fir se sambhalkar Aasmaan me udd jaate dekha hai….

Kisi ko iss Zindagi ki keemat ka majaak banate dekha hai,
Toh kahin kisi ko do pal ki Zindagi ke liye sab kuch lutate dekha hai,
Kisi ne dekhe Gulaab me Kaante, toh maine kaanto me Gulaab dekha hai,
Mujhe nahi pataa maine kya sikha ab tak, Maine toh bas ek chhoti si zindgaani ka khawaab dekha hai…

– Sujit Yadav