Where had you go? I miss you so…

After 6 days of constant battle with sickness, today our calf lost his life. He died a painful death at our house. Like always, My mother was the only one to wake me up with bad news. I went to him. He was lying with his moist eyes open and toungue out. My mother told me how he floundered out of pain. I touched him but he did not turn his head to me like he used to do. His mother was still eating. May be she was unaware of this harsh truth. My father, brother and I, put his body on the bike and went to bury it.

A few hundred meters away from the house, we dig his grave. I said “goodbye” to him in my thoughts and threw the soil on his stomach. We buried his memories and came back to home. His mother looked at us like she want to say something. For a moment, I forgot that they can’t speak like us or may be we are too unlucky too understand them.

Its been hours, but she is still looking for him. She is feeling lonely. Everytime somebody opens the gate, she wishes that his son will enter. She tries to search him through the nearest window. She is tied to a wooden pole but still roam around to get a glance of his son. I don’t know what she is thinking. I just know that she is in pain. You can feel it by looking at her eyes.

Sometimes I wonder, Why can’t we just live forever? Why can’t we keep our loved ones with us forever..? I know, someday it will happen to me too but I don’t believe it that it will really happen. I don’t know if he is at a better place or not. If there is any afterlife or a complete darkness. I just wish, wherever he are..He don’t forget the moments we shared. I hope, he know that somebody misses him. I just hope….

-Sujit